The Crazy Things People Google

There’s no denying it, people search the darnest things on the Internet. Those of you who are fellow bloggers know what I’m talking about!  Sometimes when I see some of the search terms people used that led them to my blog I literally laugh out loud. Other times I have considered never leaving my house again {there are some deeply disturbed people out there!} And finally, on some occasions, I take action in reponse to some of the things people search.  Like the other day, my Google Analytics showed that someone had landed on my blog by searching the following term “why did my kids turn out so sorry?”  I immediately contacted my parent’s Internet provider and asked that they cut their service. 

Some day, I will have to post all the funny search terms that have landed up in my Google Analytics. In the mean time I’ve been keeping a list of the hilarious terms that have popped up when I start typing in the Google search box and wanted to share a few with you.  Mind you, I’m doing basic searches like “ Why can’t I print in white?” when these hilarious terms pop up.  Of course, commentary by yours truly.

The Things People Search

Why can’t I own a Canadian? Cmon eh hoser! Y'know owning people is against the law, unless, of course its David Beckman, eh, and it’s me owning him and ummmm….yeah, we’ll leave it at that, EH??

Why don’t we eat our children? I’m pretty sure it’s because they’re useless carbs.

If you give a mouse a cookie what happens? Been there, done that.  They totally get a sugar high and then they crash at the nearest cheese motel. 

Why did I get married? Honey… that you?

My family was kidnapped by ninjas!  Hurry! Call Nancy Grace. No seriously, I'm not going to knock this one because kidnappings, especially by ninjas, is a very senstive subject matter. Nevermind the fact that I'm pretty sure ninjas don't exist anymore. Who I am to judge, right? Plus, at one time in college my life I thought Paul Bunyan was a real person. Imagine that.........giant lumberjacks and blue oxen indeed never existed. Phew! It took years of therapy for me to be able to say that out loud.

Oh, how I love the Internet!

If you're a blogger what are some of the weirdest search terms you've come across that led people to your blog?


Stephanie @ henry happened said...

I did a post on organizing your underwear drawer so you can imagine all of the crazy searches that led to!

Melissa said...

bwahahahaha!! thanks. I needed this :)

Unknown said...

Let's see...mine are not that weird but I've been found with:

many stars
smooth things
needle piercing skin
pop would
don't leave me dad poems

Miss Young said...

haha, this is so funny - I've come across this too! Sometime I just type "how do I..." or something generic into Google and see what comes up, it's pretty amusing :)

Miss Young said...

oh this couldn't have come at a better time, I just noticed that someone searched for "oreo tooth cookies" in my google analytics...hmmm! said...

Oh my gosh!!! Haha those are hilarious!!! People can be so weird!

I'd love to hear from you!