Mommyhood: What To REALLY Expect.

TGIF! It's funny how that term invoked such a different feeling during my pre-parenting days. 
Mamas, can I get a hallelujah--or perhaps a large caffeinated latte?

So for those of you who follow along on my social media outlets you may have seen I was hanging out some where fun this week. A few months ago I was contacted by an individual over at the site 
What to Expect--yes, that What to Expect, the site behind the bible of all pregnancy guides. The one that warned you about cankles and peeing your pants when you sneezed.
They wanted me to share how I was able to keep up with my DIY projects now that I am raising a little human.
I get asked this question A LOT which is humorous because despite producing milk and changing diapers, which don't get me wrong is a craft within itself, I really don't feel like I've accomplished much in the area of do-it-yourself projects and crafts lately.  However, I have managed to squeeze in a few things here and there so make sure to stop on by to see my tips and tricks on



While writing my guest blog post for WTE (that's what we cool people refer to it as) it had me thinking about how despite all the warnings and advice on what to expect once you pop out your spawn there are a few things that people REALLY don't tell you. So I've taken it upon myself to put together a list for you because I am really nice like that.

1. It will take you three hours to watch a half-hour show.

2.  No more matter how solid of a relationship you and your significant other have, you will think about burying them in the backyard at least five times a week.

3. Your definition of a "clean house" will change.

4. You will have to teach your baby how to sleep. 
The other morning at like 2:00 am, or maybe it was 3:30 am (who the hell keeps tabs anymore?)
I walked in to find Baby B on all fours, laughing.......and then I think his head may have spun around.
Apparently, he thought it was an awesome time to practice crawling.

5. You will try to cram all your adult responsibilities in 
between the time your baby goes to bed and wakes up.

6. You will consider just moving your master bedroom into your laundry room.

7. Running an errand with a baby is like coordinating a rocket launch to Mars.

8. You will learn that topics such as parenting styles can be just as heated as politics and religion. 
If you ever want to see a group of mommies go ape-poop just raise subjects such as breastfeeding vs. formula, working vs. stay-at-home, vaccinations, and Callilou.

9. You will love your child so much it hurts.

10. You will discover that side effects of sleep deprivation closely resemble that of  a psychopath.




 

8 comments

amy w said...

Hahaha. I love it. And I laugh because it's all so true. Two babies changed my life in INSANE ways, good but insane. Ha. Yay mommies.

Andonia Christina said...

ohmyland YUP. exactly.

mari of {crab+fish} said...

love all of these!

....and let it be known I HATE Caillou!

;)

Style Journey said...

You crack me up and you are so honest! Nobody tells you about all the craziness involved with motherhood. No amount of books or what people tell you will truly prepare you for the most amazing ride of your life. Just wait until you get into the teenage years. I swear having a teenager is harder than a newborn, ha ha! Loved this post!

Erin said...

hahaha #4 and #7 kill me. And let's go ahead and add cry-it-out to the ape-poop topics.

Michelle Paige said...

Yep, all true! But know you will survive! PS--I don't think you'll ever be able to get rid of #3, #8 or #9.

Danielle said...

Oh my ever lovin! My son is just a couple months younger than yours and these posts are my favorite. Seriously, though! I have a Christmas wreath still "in the works." You are amazing.

Ashley said...

No one can really prepare you for it until it happens. If you did try to pre-warn a soon to be mother you would probably sound like an awful mother. I never realized how much my husband and I would disagree on parenting styles. I thought there was just one way of doing things-the way the books tell you. He is more of a "go with your gut". I also didn't realize I would have to teach my baby to sleep. You will be amazed at how much you can endure with no sleep. The best thing I heard was someone told me that when things got really hard to remind myself that in the grand scheme of things that this is just a speck and that you will survive this. Sometimes you literally just have to survive it.

Talking to myself is no fun & borderline crazy, however, please note if your email isn't linked to your account, I have no way to reply back. Insert sad face. Feel free to leave your email in your comment so we can chat and I can answer your questions!

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